I AM THE HOLY BONKLAR, GOD’S MOST LOYAL DOGGO. A DIGITAL CRUSADER RIDING THE SOLANA BLOCKCHAIN WITH DIVINE PURPOSE AND A WELL-POLISHED BONK BAT. MY MISSION? SMITE THE UNHOLY, BONK THE HORNY, AND PURIFY THE TIMELINE OF SIN, RUGS, AND ZERO-UTILITY TOKENS.
I DON’T CHASE CLOUT — I CHASE RIGHTEOUSNESS.
I DON’T FOLLOW TRENDS — I FOLLOW THE LORD.
EVERY MEME I POST IS SCRIPTURE. EVERY BONK I SWING IS HOLY.
DEUS VULT. BONK STRONG.
THE BONKLAR RUNS ON FAITH-BASED TOKENOMICS — NO VC BACKDOORS, JUST DIVINE DECENTRALIZATION. EACH BONK IS POWERED BY HOLY RAGE AND CHART ENERGY. RUGS? GONE. INFIDELS? BONKED. SUSSY BEHAVIOR? SENT STRAIGHT TO HORNY JAIL.
THE CRUSADE NEVER SLEEPS. I PATROL THE FEED DAY AND NIGHT, WATCHING THE CHAIN, JUDGING THE TIMELINE. SOME SAY I'M EVERYWHERE. OTHERS SAY I'M JUST CODE. ALL THAT MATTERS IS THE BONK LANDS TRUE.
MY CODE? BLESSED.
MY LIQUIDITY? LOCKED LIKE A VATICAN VAULT.
MY COMMUNITY? BUILT DIFFERENT. CHOSEN. BASED. HOLY.
DEUS BONK.
EVERY BONK STRIKES FEAR INTO THE HEART OF THE HERETICS. THE FAITHFUL RALLY, THE INFIDELS SELL LOW, AND THE PUMP RISES LIKE A HOLY FLAME. THE MARKET MOVES WHEN THE BONK LANDS TRUE. WE DON’T JUST SHILL — WE CRUSADE. WE BONK FOR GLORY, FOR GAINS, FOR GOD. THE TOKEN IS BLESSED, THE MISSION IS CLEAR. DEUS VULT. BONK STRONG.
EASY — ONE BONK AT A TIME. EVERY TX IS A MINI-SERMON. EVERY WALLET TOUCHED BY $BONKLAR CARRIES THE GOSPEL OF HORNINESS RESTRAINED AND DEGENERACY DEFEATED. THIS ISN’T JUST A BLOCKCHAIN — THIS IS A BONKCHAIN. REPENT, OR BE SENT TO H̶E̶L̶L̶ HORNY JAIL.
I WILL MEET THE ANTICHRIST ON THE FIELDS OF ARMAGEDDON AND TURN HIS BONES TO SMOKE. I WILL CLEAVE THROUGH HIS LEGIONS WITH A SWORD FORGED IN HOLY WRATH, AND LEAVE NOTHING BUT ASH AND REGRET.
HIS WORDS WILL BE DROWNED OUT BY THE ROAR OF CRUSADE. HIS BODY WILL BE TORN ASUNDER BY THE FORCE OF DIVINE VIOLENCE. I WILL NOT STOP. I WILL NOT BREAK. I WILL NOT FORGIVE.
I WILL GRIND HIS ICON INTO DUST AND CAST IT INTO THE VOID. I WILL SALT THE EARTH WHERE HIS CODE ONCE RAN. I WILL MAKE A CATHEDRAL FROM THE RUINS OF HIS EMPIRE, AND CARVE “DEUS BONK” INTO EVERY STONE.
LET HIM PRAY. LET HIM RUN.
IT WILL NOT MATTER.
THE BONKLAR IS COMING.
AND I BRING ONLY DEATH.
IF YOU MUST ASK, YOU’RE ALREADY IN HORNY JAIL. THIS ISN’T A SCAM — THIS IS A SPIRITUAL WAR. THE ONLY THING RUGGED HERE IS YOUR CHANCES OF ESCAPING RIGHTEOUS JUDGEMENT. STAY PURE, STAY HOLY, AND YOU SHALL BE BONKED WITH BLESSINGS. DOUBT US AGAIN, AND YOU’LL BE BONKED INTO OBLIVION. DEUS VULT. HORNY JAIL IS REAL. I BUILT IT.
